The Pirate Reviewer's Blog

Monday, December 27, 2010

Wrapping up

The playthrough is complete. Happy Holidays! I think I'll cook up a few movie reviews these days and then, probably in 2011, my new playthrough will be posted. The new one is on Telltale's Back to the Future game. But I'm currently on a break and I won't start working on it until after the holidays. Sorry.

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Happy Holidays!

I'm still alive, thanks for the question, and yes, I'm done with the Sherlock Holmes playthrough. No, I didn't drop it, I COMPLETED it! There are 26 parts uploded and 2 more are being uploaded right now. In a few hours, part 27 will be up and tomorrow I will upload the last part, 28. Jeez, I really overdid myself. I did no more than 10 parts in one week.
Anyway, hope you've spent Christmas better than I did. I had a fucking tootache and my night wasn't the best of all.. but hey, at least I had SOME fun.. right?
OK, I'm very tired now, so I'll go to sleep (as soon as the next part is up and ready), but first, I have a request from you guys. Go to the Playthroughs page (link over there, at the top, I'm too lazy to make a URL right now) and check out if I gave the proper links to every part. Thanks! Also, starting January 2011, I'm doing a Back to the Future playthrough! Stay tuned! And if someone already did one, fuck you for being first. That's all I had to say right now.. good night (at least it is where I'm writing from) and Happy Holidays (I'm so getting drunk at the New Year party).

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Updates

Hi there! Sorry for not posting anything for.. a whole month?! Well.. I've been busy. Anyway, the Sherlock Holmes Playthrough is nearly done, I've uploaded more than half of it already. My goal is to have it done until January 1st 2011, but I can't promise anything.
Second of all, some movie reviews are coming up real soon. First of all, I'm reviewing a masterpiece, probably the best movie of 2010, "Inception". And then, maybe, I will talk a bit about Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows part I. Stay tuned! Also, there's another Top 10 coming soon (Top 10 Movies of 2010). See ya!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Surprises in House MD

BUT BEFORE! CHECK THE PLAYTHROUGHS PAGE!

I finally got to see this! At the end of this episode House is happy and Wilson is miserable. Now that's what I call a twist of fate.
Interesting, though, how House tries to get over the lying to Cuddy thing, but is forced to apologize in the end.
Of course, we find out more about Taub's marriage going downwards, and the cast making fun of the fact that an old guy (the hospital's chairman of the board) is getting married with a girl 20 years younger than him. Jeez, I mean, even Cuddy gives them a few weeks before the divorce =)).
The case wasn't the focus of this episode as it was in "A Pox in Our House", but it did play a big role, since House was confronted with a guy's faith in God that made him crucify himself every year in exchange for his daughter getting rid of cancer.
ONE THING I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND: And I couldn't understand it the whole season! House can walk without his cane in Season 7! How come? Only because he finally got together with Cuddy his leg got miraculously cured?

OVERALL: Decent episode. 8.5/10
By the way, FOX is really starting to annoy me. The next episode is due to air in... January 10th, 2011! This is stupid! There's still a month till Christmas! What's with the damn break?

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1 Videogame

Platform: PC
Release date: November 19th, 2010
Leaked on the internet: November 16th, 2010
Finished by me: November 20th, 2010
Type: Third Person Action

So, let's talk of Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part 1, the game. First of all, I am disappointed at EA GAMES' light approach over this project. They decided to make a WAND SHOOTER. You heard well, A WAND SHOOTER! People started calling it Call of Potter: Modern Wandfare on the internet and with good reason!
The story is poorly treated. I could see short cutscenes now and then, but they're not very relevant. It's just bits of talking part they had to use so that the level transition would make sense. It's kinda like in Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire, in which they weren't focused on the actual story of the game and the whole point was to get past a few stupid levels. Of course, the levels consist of a few things that happen in the book, but never mind that, as the movie was bad as well (Mike Newell probably made it that bad because he wasn't allowed to split it in two parts like David Yates did with part 7).
Now back to The Deathly Hallows. The story, as I was saying is not treated as it should have been. But then again, if you want to see the story, watch the damn movie. We don't care about the story, we just want to sell our game. And since shooters sell... well... here's our product!
The gameplay... well.. three words about it. Harry Potter shooter. That's all. I hate it. I mean, a few shooting scenes were indeed needed in the game, but making the whole thing a shooter.. that's something else. It may have made a few fans happy but it didn't manage to please me. Sorry. Also.. a few serious spells that don't take as much time as enemies need to kill you to perform would have been better. I mean, Expelliarmus was nearly impossible to cast without taking damage first. Had to use Stupefy or Impedimenta. The exploding spell, Confringo, sucks as well, because you need a certain distance from the target or you'll hit yourself as well. It's not that this game has a health bar that decreases (many shooting games don't anymore and use the same feature as this one), but I hate taking damage. It makes me look like your ordinary gamer. And that clearly hurts my ego. So how do you die if there's no life bar? Easy. The screen turns black and white and you fall to the ground. So make sure you go into hiding whenever the colors start fading.
The music is great, suitable for a shooting game at least. And maybe suitable for Harry Potter as well.
Graphics.. well, I had the same problem as I've had with Harry Potter 4 before. The maximum resolution they allowed me to play at is 1024x768 even though I use 1028x1024 and my PC supports even 1920x1080. It's stupid, but anyway. Despite the resolution, the graphics are quite decent.
Thanks to the inconsistent story, the game is quite short and it ends when Dobby the house elf dies.

Story: 7/10 (just because it's Harry Potter, but the story was badly exploited).
Graphics: 8/10 (because I can't change resolution)
Gameplay: 5/10 (totally not Harry Potter except for a few parts)
Soundtrack: 9/10 (saves this game from total shame)

Final score: 7,2/10

Friday, November 5, 2010

Update your URL!

The new URL of the site is:
http://thepiratereviewer.co.cc

Issues with the domain name...

Since I've been having issues with the .tk domain provider, I decided to move the site from that domain (it doesn't work anymore thanks to your non-existent support, assholes - gee, good thing I spend a few hours a day working on the fucking playthrough just to get my domain deleted because of the lack of visitors!) and register it somewhere else. I will give you the address soon.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Brand new design!

I have just modified the good ol' blog theme and got it a new design. Hope you like it!

Sunday, October 17, 2010

Sherlock Holmes vs Jack The Ripper Playthrough

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPVfyR4jC6M
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDQYKXg0Pnk
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N0BCMfyU4pI
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F61Tx9Amlm8
Part 5: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZXUAT80DyU
Part 6: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IwiBZF4MFUs
Part 7: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hj9J-EL8aXQ

And more parts coming soon!
I have waited this long to post the playthrough so that I'd have a few videos to show. I won't stop playing when I get bored, like I did with Broken Sword IV. That was a unique case. Sam and Max 305 was coming and I couldn't miss the opportunity. Meanwhile, my hard drive got fucked up and I had to format it. And you know the rest. I did not want to reinstall Broken Sword, so I thought I should pick another game. And since this playthrough will surely last until The Testament of SH comes out, I thought about Sherlock Holmes.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Sam and Max 305 Playthrough Complete now!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Finally some updates

1) A little note concerning my Mafia 2 review
I did give it a 10/10 and I do consider it a must play, even though it lacks the good ol'freeride and it doesn't have multiplayer (but that's not a drawback since Mafia 1 didn't have multiplayer either) which may be annoying for someone whose friends are all a bunch of gamers and like playing games together. In my case, though, I didn't really care about this little inconsistency, since I spend very little time on the Multiplayer in any game I play.
I've seen complaints that the game is too linear... well, it should be like that. If you want to do hundreds of side missions before getting 100% go play some GTA. The lack of outfits... well... I guess I could do with a leather jacket, a few shirts, a casual suit and a tailored suit. I mean, it's not like you were expecting rapper clothes in the fifties, right? OK, maybe I should be fair and square and give it a 9/10 just to mix up with the other reviewers on the internet. Anyway, I'd never give this a 4/10 as Eurogamer did. I think they exaggerated. I realize that nowadays only FPS games get good scores on gaming sites. WAKE UP PEOPLE! WHERE IS GAMING AS WE KNEW IT? A GOOD GAME DOESN'T HAVE TO BE A FPS! THESE ARE FOR IDIOTS WHO CAN'T SOLVE A CHALLENGING PUZZLE! Not that there's been anything challenging in Mafia 2, though. Played it on Normal, barely died a few times, the cops are easy to get rid of, way easier than it used to be in GTA IV and the missions are quite short. I mean, 15 hours of overall gameplay (even less for some people) is not what you come up with after working 7 years on a game that only has story mode incorporated. I admit, I didn't see the negative parts of this game in my first review. I was just enthusiastic. But now, having woken up, I'll give it it's correct overall mark: 8.5/10.

2) Broken Sword Playtrough Delayed!
Broken Sword the Angel of Death Playtrough is delayed as of now. I like calling it "delayed", but it's very likely I'll just drop it and only continue it on special request (which I don't think it will be coming any time soon). What am I going to do instead of this? Well... Sam and Max season 3 finale is out now, so... don't you dare go to sleep 'cause "The City that dares not sleep" is fresh out of Telltales' labs and I'm ready to exploit it and show it to you guys and girls.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Mafia 2 Review

!!! SPOILERS BELOW!!! DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU !!!

The year: 2003. Gathering of Developers releases a game made by Czechs, about the 1930's. Or, to be exact, about the Mafia and how it operated back then. Everything took place in the city of Lost Heaven. That game followed the story of Tom (I won't add Angelo, that last name might be a fake one, made up by the feds later), a cab driver who has the "luck" to meet up with a couple of Don Salieri's goons that he has to rescue from their pursuers. This event and the fact that by his actions Tom made a lot of enemies lead to him joining The Family and doing stuff for Salieri. Stuff that involves killing people, sabotaging race cars, rescuing damsels in distress etc. Eventually, Tom and his best friend, Paulie realize that the boss is treating them like simple pawns, even after they "took care" of Salieri's nemesis, Morello. Therefore, they decide to do something on their own, so they rob a bank without the Don knowing. Of course, Salieri eventually finds out about it and orders them to be killed. Tom, on the other hand, has a wife and daughter to protect, so he confesses everything he did on behalf of Salieri to the police in return for his family's safety. In the end, though, he is shown a few years later, in a different town, being found out by two goons who send "Mr Salieri's regards".
This was it, the main character being dead at the end of the game, the future of the Mafia series was kinda dark. But the producers weren't done yet. A few years later, a lot of small game companies, including Gathering of Developers fusioned into 2K Games. A website was launched, announcements went all over the internet and people were waiting for Mafia 2 for more than four years. Then, in August 2010, it finally came out. SO! Is it the best game of 2010? We'll see.
Mafia 2 follows the story of Vito Scalleta, a young man who came to Empire Bay with his family, immigrants from Sicily. Once in Empire Bay, he befriended Joe Barbarro, a guy who did what he had to do in order to survive: things like stealing from people's homes, or robbing stores. After one of these robberies, Vito is caught by the cops and is enrolled in the army, as the world is in war (WWII). He is send to free Sicily from Mussolini's troops. The campaign is a success, yet Vito is sent back home with an injury, after three months. He returns to find out his father passed away while he was gone and that Joe got rich in a short time. Of course, Joe confesses working for the Mafia, the Clemente family to be exact. There they meet a guy called Henry, who gives them a dangerous job. Vito has to break into a federal institution and steal gas stamps which then he has to sale to gas stations before midnight, as the expiration date is "tomorrow". After this operation, someone turns Vito in and he is sent to prison. In prison he meets Leo Galante, an old man working for Frank Vinci, another family boss. During his time there, Vito learns how to fight, as Leo runs an underground fighting club. Leo manages to get Vito out of prison earlier than he was supposed to be released. Now there's an advance in time, we're in 1951, when most of the game takes part. Vito finds out his mother died while he was doing his time, and his sister doesn't want to have anything to do with him, thanks to the fact that he is involved with the Mafia and kills people. At some point, Vito and Joe find out Clemente was screwing with them and they go to take their revenge on behalf of Carlo Falcone, head of the Falcone family. After taking Clemente out, Falcone wants to go after the Vinci clan as well. At this time, Henry changes sides, as his former boss, Clemente had been killed, and is sent to kill Leo Galante, now released from prison. Vito gets to Leo first and manages to save his life by convincing Henry not to kill him.
Being tired of getting orders from the Family and wanting their own money, Vito, Joe and Henry plan to start selling drugs (and in the same time making competition to their boss, Falcone, who had been doing the same thing and got rid of Clemente in order to avoid competition). [This action is similar to Tom and Paulie robbing the bank in the first Mafia game. They want more money so they do something without the Don's permission]. In order to obtain the drugs, they borrow 35000 bucks from a loan shark. They have to pay back 55 grand. They use the money to buy drugs off some Chinese dealer. On their way back to the car they're attacked by some fake cops (which turn out to be feds later). But the three amigos escape the feds and manage to sell the drugs. Unfortunately, Falcone finds out about their business and wants his cut, leaving them with too little cash, obviously not enough to pay the loan shark back. To top it all, when Vito arrives to a park where he is supposed to meet Henry in order to do a job that will get them enough money to pay the loan shark, he sees his friend butchered by a bunch of Chinese guys. He and Joe follow the Chinese and waste them in their bar. Later on, the leader of the Chinese reveals to Vito that Henry was a rat, and he sold them all out to the feds.
Then Joe and Vito get the job to eliminate a guy who ratted out his Family and head to their target. The target is none other than Tommy Angelo, whom they eventually whack, after delivering the message. They get their payment but it's not enough to pay the loan shark. When they finally pay their debt and Vito goes to report to Joe that everything's OK, he finds out Joe is nowhere to be found. Eventually Vito tracks his friend to a construction site, where he is being tortured by Vinci and his men who want to know why the Chinese Triads are on to them. Vito and Joe manage to escape Vinci, but Joe is hurt, so Vito has to take him to the doctor.
In the final mission, Vito gets a phone call, asking him to go to Falcone's Observatory, as the boss wants to talk to him. On his way there, a car parks in front of him, and his old friend, Leo Galante calls him in, asking him to make things straight by killing Falcone. So Vito goes to the Observatory and gets ambushed. His best friend, Joe, holds a gun to Vito's head, but eventually decides to help him get rid of Falcone. After completing the job, they both get out and are taken away by Galante in two different cars. On the way to the "celebration", Vito sees the car carrying Joe take a different turn and then the credits roll.
SO IS IT OVER?! I guess so, since there's really nothing else to do around there. Of course, there are a few side missions and stuff to collect, but the game is really linear. Jeez, they left space for a sequel. I sure want to know what happened to Joe! But I hope this time I won't have to wait seven fucking years in order to find that out.
Anyway, back to the review. The story is awesome, kept me hooked up to the PC for 14 hours and a half - as long as it took me to finish the game. Of course, I didn't finish the game in one continuos play. I mean, who'd be nerdy enough to do that?! I finished in in three days. It's still a lot of time dedicated to playing a game, but it was totally worth it. I loved it. The first mission takes you to the army, then you get to the city, then you get to the can (that's what they call the prison) and then back to a more modern city. The evolution of the main character is something interesting to observe. I won't get into details, but you should be real careful at his actions. One last thing about the story - it's structured on 15 chapters that can contain one or more missions in each of them.
The soundtrack is amazing. And I mean both the 40's and 50's radio songs and the orchestrations. I just loved the atmosphere they made.
The graphichs are stunning. OK, they kinda remind me of GTA IV, but here they're far better and the characters are far more realistic.
The gameplay is great. This game has the best cover system I've ever seen in a shooting game. The AI is not as stupid as it usually is in a shooter. Your friends actually help you killing your enemies and your enemies actually TRY to kill you instead of shooting blindly in your direction. I had fun playing this game. I also notice your health meter gets refilled every time you get back into cover. That's good (I guess it only happens in Easy mode, I don't know, haven't tried the other difficulties yet). The driving is great, I loved driving 40's and 50's cars. I missed good driving in a Mafia videogame ever since the first Mafia came out. OK, maybe The Godfather I had decent driving but in Godfather II (FUCK THAT GAME!!!) the driving was a joke.
Fun fact! Jack Scalici, one of the game creators was asked in an interview if you're the boss in this game and he replied, I quote, "being the boss is boring". That's a punch in the face of the EA Games team that made Godfather II. I totally agree with Jack. Being the boss is boring. I'd rather grab a gun and perform the hit myself any time than having to send the guys to do it and manage my family and shit like that.
One thing they forgot to add in this game is robbing a house. There was a mission like that in Mafia I and I would have liked to see Vito and Joe stealing documents or cash from some asshole's safe. Anyway, the game has diversity when it comes to the missions, so I haven't got any reason to complain.
What else is left to say? Ah, yes, for being the best game of the year, Mafia 2 lacks a feature that's going to piss a lot of gamers. It doesn't have multiplayer! I'm OK with that, my friends aren't exactly hardcore gamers, at least not as I am, so I'd rather play by myself any time. Other people may have a problem with the lacking multiplayer, but I don't.
Overall, I LOVE THIS GAME! It's the best game ever! The shooting scenes are awesome (WHERE'S THE FUCKING SAWED OFF SHOTGUN?!), the driving is awesome and the story is great, except for the finale, as I don't understand what happened to Joe and I'm looking forward to Mafia 3 if it will ever come out.
One more fun fact before the final judgement. On some hungarian site, I found a comparison between Vito Scalleta and Marlon Brando in his youth. Check it out here.

Story: 10/10
Graphics: 10/10
Soundtrack: 10/10
Gameplay: 10/10
--------------------
Overall: 10/10 --> PERFECT! This is a must-play for all gamers!

PS! There's a new Mafia type game, set in the 40's coming soon. It's called LA Noire, you can check it out here, but don't get any hopes up, it's being published by Rockstar Games, so it might not be released on PC, because these guys, for some reason, hate the PC as a gaming console.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Broken Sword The Angel of Death Playtrough

While I'm eagerly waiting for the release of Mafia II, I decided to make another one of my famous playtroughs. This time, I'm playing Broken Sword The Angel of Death, the fourth game from the BS series, one of the best adventure games ever made and my all time favourite series of games. I have three parts up to now. The first two are in 720p HD and the third one is in 1080p HD. The rest of the videos that will come out will be in 1080p as well. Enjoy!

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NjIt9AfAKUA
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBeteW4Tq4c
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3CHVv22zlcc
Part 4: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LbVNhj21Y8

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

By the way =))

Fun fact!!!

Why did Van Damme refuse to appear in “The Expendables”? Easy. Because he’d get his ass kicked by all the other guys. Well, actually that’s not the real reason. Apparently, Stallone wrote his role so that he gets beaten up by Jet Li. WOW, I WISH I COULD GET BEATEN UP BY JET LI! But hey, Van Damme is too busy playing mom and dad with Romanian whores, right?

Now, why did Chuck Norris refuse to appear in the movie mentioned above?! That’s because he would have made Stallone look like a Barbie doll when they faced off, so “Rambo” decided not to cast him =)). Nah. Actually, Chuck refused the role, probably for the same reason. He likes Sly and doesn’t want him to look bad.

Also, Kurt Russell turned out a role in this movie and Wesley Snipes had to turn down Sly because of some legal stuff.

Heck, I know another guy who would’ve done a great role in this movie. No? Nothing? Al Pacino, dudes! The guy’s a freakin’ genius!

Tom and Jerry meet Sherlock Holmes

Care to watch a totally different Tom and Jerry? Do you want to see Jerry as Sherlock Holmes’ mouse and Tom as a messenger cat trying to catch him while causing destruction everywhere? Do you want to see Tom and Jerry team up to solve the case and stop the culprit? Do you want to see characters like Spike and Tyke or Droopy and Butch and some other MGM guys all in the same movie?

Then this is the perfect choice for you. Watch Tom and Jerry meet Sherlock Holmes. It’s awesome. I laughed all along the 46 minutes (yeah, guess WB chose to keep it short, guess money is a big problem everywhere nowadays) and I still laugh when I remember some of the hilarious scenes, even though the whole thing seems like a reenactment (hope I wrote that right :D) of the supposedly upcoming sequel to Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes, in which Professor Moriarty builds a big piece of shit of a laser weapon only to break through the Tower of London and steal The Crown Jewels. I won’t be surprised if this is going to be the plot of the next Holmes movie. Overall… watch it! It’s totally worth it! And once I find a kind enough site that allows me to stream the whole thing in HD I will convert my version of the movie in 1080p HD (believe me it’s close to HD but not quite - I think it may already be 720p, based on the size) and post it here. IT’S TOTALLY WORTH IT GUYS!

Ok, I’m done here. I gotta go, Kane and Lynch is installed and ready to go! LET’S SHOOT SOME DAMN COPS!!!

WOW! Just WOW!

Can you believe the internet?! The new Kane and Lynch game, ”Dog Days” is supposed to be released in August 20th. BUT! It’s been posted on Torrents ever since… TODAY. Guess IO didn’t put too much effort in the DVD protection. That, or Reloaded got themselves a digital download. But that’s unlikely since the only place digital downloads are available right now is Steam, and they don’t release the game until the 20th. THE INTERNET ROCKS!!! Download link below.

http://www.newtorrents.info/torrent/36764/Kane.and.Lynch.2.Dog.Days-RELOADED.html

Friday, August 13, 2010

My impressions on Mafia II Demo

Yeah, you might be surprised there's no video as I previously promised... but the thing is, my fucking bucket of a video card isn't good enough so that my game recorder could give out an acceptable framerate. I set the game to 800x600 resolution (yeah, I know, that's humiliating) and it still didn't give me more than 8 FPS. Otherwise, the demo worked perfectly for me with max settings (1280x1024 resolution).
My impressions on this are... well... THIS IS THE BEST GAME I'VE EVER PLAYED IN MY LIFE! I can't believe it! You can actually open the fridge and choose to get a beer, a burger or a bottle of juice. Also, you can screw around with the faucet or flush the toilet. That's what you do indoors. Outside (I used a time patch, download link at the end), after bypassing the 10 minutes time limit set by 2K Games, I drove a car, went to the tuning garage and... well.. tuned it. I even set the licence plate to display my name =)). You can also buy clothes or food while in town. There are gas stations (yeah, like in the first game - this is what makes the game feel way more realistic than GTA IV - you can wake up without any gas and that's it, you're fucked) from where you buy gas and... surprise surprise, you can open your car's hood and FIX THE ENGINE! You heard it well! If you crash too much and fuck up your engine, the car stops, you have to go to the hood, open it up and fix it. The cops are as annoying as usual. Once you do something wrong they're on to you. One star means they want to fine you, two stars means they want to arrest you and three stars means they're gonna shoot at you. At least that's how I understood it.
The shooting is absolutely awesome! The cover system is amazing! Way better than in Kane and Lynch where if you're in cover and shoot you immediately get out of cover and have to press the cover key again. Kicking doors is usual for Vito (the main character), or at least it was while I played the game. Of course, it's way more polite to open them nicely. The demo mission was funny. I laughed out loud when one of the guys called your target "Porky" because he was fat.
What really killed me was the ending. I mean... you're in front of a police blockade, trying to get your injured friend to a doctor. And then they argue about stopping or not and the screen goes black and you hear the sounds of a car accelerating and... TO BE CONTINUED.
Nice one. Now I want to see the full game even more.

Mafia II Time Limit Bypass Patch:http://www.megaupload.com/?d=O773E0AR

Notes:
1)The Kane and Lynch II Demo Multiplayer video was cancelled. Sorry.
2)I will try to see if I can record some of the demo anyway.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Kane and Lynch II: Dog Days Demo Playtrough

This is going to be yet another series of videos. My notices here are: I suck at shooters, the Fraps framerate sucks and... enjoy if you can. The demo is awesome, can't wait for the full game to arrive. Also, when I finish these videos, the August 10th demo videos will be released as well.
So, let's rock:

Single Player
Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uj3aaBC8cGs
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Noa9IBr7oSI
Multiplayer:
DELAYED. Sorry, I've got a bigger fish to catch right now.

Kane and Lynch: Dead Men Review

Kane and Lynch: Dead Men is a 3rd Person Shooter, developed by IO Interactive, the same developer that made the hit series ”Hitman” (lol, nice word usage over there). This time, though, you don't play as the famous silent assassin and you don't have time to plan a strategy and walk through the levels as quietly as possible. No, no. In this game you'll be too busy shooting everything that moves.
You take control of Kane, a former member of some organisation called The7 (no more details, I don't want spoilers!!!), which supposedly doesn't exist anymore. But things go totally wrong when, as he is taken to his execution day, Kane is broken out of police custody by his former organisation and made to retrieve something (it's never revealed what exactly does Kane retrieve) in exchange for his family. Yeah, the old "we kidnapped your wife and daughter and we won't give them back unless you do something for us" cliffhanger is present in the game. God dammit. Eventually, the organisation doesn't respect it's part of the deal and Kane goes on rampage along a gang of people who are supposed to help him take down his enemies and rescue his daughter. The confusing part is, though, that the game has two endings and there's gonna be a sequel released in a few days. I mean, what ending is the sequel going to follow?! Jeez!
Now on to the gameplay. I gotta say, this game is awesome. The best shooter I've ever played in my life (though I haven't played a lot of shooters in my life :D). You can cover behind walls and stuff (the physix is not as great as in GTA IV but it'll do) and you can command your allies to attack, find cover or follow you. That's useful, since the AI goes wherever the heck it wants in this game.
The graphics is great for 2007, the year it was released in, so I've got no comment here. Except for the looks of the characters. Why the fuck are both allies AND enemies dressed THE FUCKING SAME?! That's at the later levels, like in Havana. The only thing that differentiates allies from enemies is a red hat the enemies wear. I mean, who the fuck has the time to check if the guy wears a red hat or not?! I need to shoot or get shot! Jesus!
The multiplayer is awesome all the same. I didn't have time to test it at it's full potential but I liked what I've seen.

Story: 8.5/10
Graphics: 8/10
Gameplay: 9/10
Multiplayer: 9/10
__________________
OVERALL: 8.62/10

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

The DaVinci Code Videogame

The DaVinci code was a money-making novel, written by Dan Brown, who for some reason likes getting The Church angry by his work.
In the DaVinci code, professor Robert Langdon (if you don't know who that is, it means you live in a cave!) reveals that The Holy Grail is actually Mary Magdalene who was Jesus Christ's wife. And the fact that Jesus had a child. And the heirline went on until the present. I don't know if there's any base in all the stuff I mentioned or it's all pure theory, but anyway, the point is the novel ended up being exploited by money-hungry amator film makers (Ron Howard's movie is at least mediocre despite it has Tom Hanks in it) and game makers. Yeah, The DaVinci code videogame was released in 2006 by 2K Games.
The game featured the good ol' Slayer Engine, developed by The Collective and used in other famous games such as Indiana Jones and The Emperor's Tomb (the last Lucas Arts game I ever praised them for) or Mark Echo's Getting Up: Content under pressure, a game published by Atari, in which you control a guy that draws graffiti everywhere.
Anyway, back to The DaVinci code. The graphics are average. Hitman Blood Money was released in 2006 and it had way better graphics than this.
The storyline is, of course, that of the movie. Except now there are a lot more clues to find and apparently there are 3 cryptexes (hope I wrote it right) instead of one.
After the first few minutes of gameplay I was disappointed. First of all, I noticed that left clicking makes the character punch. Then I thought "hey, that's cool, it means I get to kick some ass!", but no. The fighting is a piece of shit and I hope NOBODY EVER INTEGRATES THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT IN ANY UPCOMING VIDEOGAME! It's ridiculous! Instead of actually fighting you get to press buttons?! BUTTONS? Like for defend, you have a sequence of 3 to 5 buttons to press. WHAT?! It would have been even better without those fucking attacks, they're only making the player waste his time, there's no entertainment in pressing buttons and then pressing buttons again. Seriously, this game loses 2 points for the lame fighting.
You can control either Robert Langdon or Sophie Neveau, in turns. The perspective is third person, and, surprisingly, the game is in widescreen. Weird choice.
The first time I played this game I encountered a weird bug. Every time I finished a level, the cutscene played and after the cutscene ended the game would just crash. Then I had to start the game again and load my savegame which took me to the next level. Weird. The second time I finished the game (that is a few days ago, for this damn review), I didn't have that problem.
The soundtrack is great, despite all the negative feelings I have towards this game.
Oh, and I almost forgot, I hate the controls. I mean, was it really that hard to use the mouse for more activities than the stupid fighting?! Like some inventory? No, we have Q for that. Really convenient, right near W which is for moving forward. Also, the gameplay doesn't feature jumping or any other stuff. The invetigation parts, where you actually use the mouse are stupid because your mouse crosshair stays at the middle of the screen and you have to slide it around to find and get what you need. JEEZ WAS IT REALLY THAT HARD TO COME UP WITH BETTER CONTROLS?! DID THEY DO A POINT AND CLICK GAME AND AT THE LAST TIME THEY DECIDED IT WOULD BE BETTER TO MAKE A REAL ADVENTURE?! FUCK THIS GAME AND FUCK 2K GAMES FOR PUBLISHING IT!

OK, I really don't want to get all mad and rant at 2K Games anymore, because they're releasing you know what in less than a month and that's going to be the real kick-ass game of 2010! That is until November when Assassin's Creed 3 will be released. So, the final judgement of this game:

STORY: 8.5/10
GAMEPLAY: 5/10 (you know why!!!)
SOUNDTRACK: 9/10
GRAPHICS: 7/10
FINAL RATING: 7.3/10 (That's TOO HIGH!!!) Wait, we gotta deduce the 2 points for the fighting system! So that's a 5.3/10.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Sam and Max Playtrough

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

My thoughts on the Prince of Persia Saga

We all know the good ol' 1989 original Prince of Persia, in which you had 60 minutes to get to the Princess' room or vizier Jaffar would marry her. That game was originally released for Apple II and then it was ported to consoles like NES, Sega CD and the old PC which at the time used DOS as the operating system. Of course, many of us younger people played it on a Win95 Pentium I and a lot of people got to play it on 486 as well. This original game had a sequel, called "Prince of Persia 2: The Shadow and the Flame". It was released in 1993 and it was ported to various consoles, which include the Playstation 2 (but only in 2003).
In 1997, Red Orb released Prince of Persia 3D (yeah, we're talking of the beginning of the 3D gaming era, so it's not surprising the title contains 3D in it. This game was only released for PC and Sega Dreamcast.
In 2003, Ubisoft picked up the series and boy they did a great thing! They released Sands of Time, an awesome game, where we, gamers met a new Prince of Persia, that could, amongst other cool things, wall-run or rewind time. Oh, the awesomeness! This was released on PS2, XBOX, PC and a few handheld consoles.
Ubisoft continued the Sands of Time series with a new game, released in 2004, "Warrior Within". A lot of gamers say the Prince is EMO in this game, and I did notice the controls kinda sucked, mainly because the camera can't be controlled at your own will and sometimes there are weird positions.
The best game of the series so far (even better than Forgotten Sands, despite all the new powers The Prince has in that one) is The Two Thrones, the finale of the series, released in 2005. This game ended the series properly, tied in every storyline there was and gave the Prince his happy ending. A multiplayer mod for this game was released in 2007, and it kicked ass! There were a lot of handheld PoP games released by various producers (including Ubisoft) during the last few years, but the next big project is the 2008 Prince of Persia. Oh, God! They fucked up the whole series with this one. I personally think a 1/10 is a mark too big for this game. First of all, you can't die at all. Then, the battles suck and are not challenging at all. Then the Prince is changed. Yeah, you play as a different Prince. THIRD OF ALL, IT SUCKS ASS!!! Anyway, it had a few console ports itself, but they're not worthy of talking about.
Last, but not least, the 2010 prequel (yeah, I told you, they had already wrapped up the story in The Two Thrones) to Warrior Within , "The Forgotten Sands", in which The Prince (yeah, he returns) has a lot of new powers. I won't get into details because I already spoke of this one before (boy it was buggy!)
Overall, the Prince of Persia series was a great gaming experience, and I liked it very much. I'd always replay any of the games (except for the 2008 PoP which I won't play again because I don't feel like replacing my monitor again). The best of the series remains "The Two Thrones", because it's the most elaborate game in the series, and it wraps up everything, you kill The Vizier and that's all. The Forgotten Sands just lacks essence, despite all it's cool stuff.
That's all folks, next time I will talk about something on the next list :D.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Mafia 2 Preview

I CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS GAME!!! IN FACT, I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR IT EVER SINCE THE FIRST MAFIA GAME ENDED BACK IN 2003! In the meanwhile, I got fed up with the stupid EA series - The Godfather, which SUCKS (not the actual Godfather story, but the game[s] made by EA) - so it's gonna be great going back to the fifties and doing jobs for the Don. I like what I've seen in E3 footage, so I expect the game to be good. Release date: August 24th. Demo will be available in August. GREAT! CAN'T WAIT FOR AUGUST!!!
Here's some YouTube gameplay (guess this is some promotional gameplay they released):

Next list

-> Dr Who adventure games + BBC Rant (seriously, I'm not dropping this)
-> Batman: Arkham Asylum (best super hero game ever - probably it will be a while until I get to do this review, as I have to finish the game first and I just started playing)
-> The DaVinci Code Game (probably my next review - and be prepared for a BIG RANT against 2K Games for some reason)

And I gotta stop here, 'cause if I add to much to the list I'll end up not doing anything at all.

A few words on The Bucket List

The Bucket List is the story of two old men (portrayed by Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman), of differen social statuses. Edward Cole (Nicholson) is a rich businessman, while Carter Chambers (Freeman) is a mechanic. The two guys meet in hospital. At some point, Chambers writes a "bucket list", of things he wants to do before he dies (both men have cancer), and Cole sees him and comes up with a great ideea: what if they actually DO those things for real?! So they end up doing extreme sports and visiting the world, thus knowing each other better. When Chambers takes Cole on a surprise visit to his daughter whom he hasn't visited for years, he gets angry and yells at Carter, thus ending their friendship and tearing "The Bucket List" apart.
Later in the movie, Chambers dies of cancer and Cole goes to his funeral and holds a speech in his memory. The final scenes show the urns that contain both men's ashes being placed on top of the Himalaya along with the restored Bucket List.
Overall, director Rob Reiner made a great comedy/drama movie that can be watched by anyone. It's a great movie, worth a 9.5/10 in the least, and I reccomend it to you.

Call of Juarez 2: Bound in Blood Review

Call of Juarez Bound in Blood is a prequel to the first CoJ game. This one was released in 2009, three years after the original came out. Since the producers already finished any possible plot hole, they needed to come up with something else. A game with totally different characters?! No, that would suck. Instead, they made a prequel. Yeah, it's not like everything past-related was explained at the end of the first game, right?
This game literaly doesn't have suspence at all. Seriously, I already knew everything that was gonna happen even before it did. Well.. not exactly everything, but 90% of the story is already revealed in the first game.
Anyway, this game features great graphics, as the previous one did, it features an interesting main menu in which you get to creat a password-based account (well I shouldn't complain, all new Ubisoft games have that). I think the password is optional, but I added one anyway (wouldn't want my little brother to start playing and fuck up my savegames). You can also play on the UPlay servers provided you own an original copy of the game.
One letdown is there are no more cheats, since there's no console, and thus I'm supposed to use a trainer if I get stuck. And the trainer usually makes the game crash. So... I tried my best not to use a trainer and I succeeded, at least until the final two or three chapters.
The characters in this game are the Mc Call Brothers. You can either play as Thomas (jumping and using a lasso to get to high places) or Ray (gunslinger bad-ass, still unable to climb anything without help). There are also a few levels where the game forces you to use a certain character, but mainly it's your choice.
What I didn't really like about this game, though, are the duels! I FUCKING HATE THOSE DAMN DUELS!!! You need to move around easily to have your enemy in sight (otherwise the screen gets blurry and when the gong sounds you're fucked) and to move your hand (by dragging the mouse) until near the gun. Only near the gun, because if you get it too close, your character will refuse to take the gun. Yeah, you can only take out your gun and shoot after the gong is heard. And the enemy is always faster than you! Jeez!
Back to the story, there's also a third brother, called William, who is some sort of a preacher. He befriends an Apache who came to make a deal with Juarez. He dies in the end, as Ray says at the end of CoJ 1.
It's good to note that, as bad-ass as he is, Ray isn't actually loved by women. Apparently Thomas "steals" a woman Ray likes and thus Ray threatens him not to do that again or else. Of course, when they meet Marisa (the future mom of Billy and wife of Thomas, duh!) they fight over her again, but then they calm down, finding out she's Juarez's wife.
Note that I don't even try not to spoil the story. That's because if you play the first CoJ before the second one, it will be spoiled anyway.
Finally, this game is no longer an "Adventure/Shooter" game. It turns out it's plain shooter. But it's a good game anyway.
IT'S DEFINETLY HUNDREDS OF TIMES BETTER THAN CS 1.6 AS A FPS! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE CAN STILL PLAY THAT POS FULL OF GLITCHES AND WITH STONE-AGE GRAPHICS INSTEAD OF THE NEW, COOL FPS'S ON THE MARKET. AT LEAST TRY CS: SOURCE. JEEZ!
Ok, now I'm ranting about something completely different. This means I should end my review now, before is too late.

GAMEPLAY: 9/10
STORY: 7/10
GRAPHICS: 9.5/10
SOUNDTRACK: 9/10
OVERALL: 8.6/10

Call of Juarez Review

Call of Juarez is another one of Ubisoft's masterpieces. It's a first person western adventure/shooter game set in the late 19th century. This game was released back in 2006, but it features graphics worhty of a 2008/2009 game. The great graphics and the first person posture makes you feel like in the actual Wild West. Another cool innovation is that you play as the good guy, and respectively the bad guy.
The story revolves around Billy Candle, who left to search for the Gold of Juarez but came back home empty-handed. He got called "candle" after his mother, Marisa, gave him a medallion with a candle on it.
Once Billy returns to his hometown, he gets into a lot of trouble when he tries to get to Suzy, a childhood friend of his now turned prostitute, in order to "say hi". After escaping the citizens, who apparently lack pussies so much that would kill for half an hour of sex with Suzy, Billy gets to his parents' (Thomas and Marisa) farm. Thomas is actually Billy's stepfather, but that's another story. Once he gets there, he finds both of them dead and runs away. Meanwhile, Reverend Ray, an old gunslinger turned preacher, angered on the ignorance of people burns down a saloon and rescues the city that has been taken over by miners. Afterwards, he is called at Thomas and Marisa's farm and sees Billy run away from the two corpses. This is where the main plot of the game starts, as Ray will follow Billy, thinking that he killed Thomas and Marisa (Thomas being Ray's brother).
Both playable charaters have their unique features. Billy can jump around and use his whip to get to high places, while Ray is a bad-ass gunman who shoots every bandit in sight.
So, back to the story, Billy runs away from Ray and gets to a farm where he previously worked at, and from where he got kicked out for falling in love with the boss' daughter. On his way to the farm, Ray is approached by some fake deputies and convinced to take over the farm. After this, the deputies, actually bandits, kidnap the girl and run away with Ray following close-by. Ray and Billy encounter eventually and the kid gets shot and falls in the river.
That's all the story I can talk about right now, because otherwise I'd spoil everything (not that I haven't spoiled stuff already) and you wouldn't have any reason to play the game anymore. Well... unless you own an original copy and can play in multiplayer mode.
Bottom line, a lot of stuff that happened before is explained and the story is properly concluded in the end.
There are also a few cheat codes that you can type in the console (press ~ to reveal console). I'll just write them down so you wouldn't say I'm an asshole for keeping them to myself (not that there's no Google to search for them anyway):

Cheat.God(1) - Enable God Mode
Cheat.God(0) - Disable God Mode
Cheat.MagicAmmo(1) - Enable Infinite Ammo
Cheat.MagicAmmo(2) - Disable Infinite Ammo
Cheat.GiveRifle() - Give Rifle (duh)

And a few more cheats that you can find on the web, but these are the only ones I used. Yeah, I did, and I'm not afraid to admit it.
The soundtrack is awesome, it completes the wild west image of the game.

Graphics: 10/10
Gameplay: 8.5/10 (for the fact the first person climbing is not the best ideea)
Story: 10/10
Soundtrack: 9.5/10
Overall: 9.5/10 (aka AWESOME)

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Preview

3D? Seriously? OH SHIT NOT THIS ONE TOO!!!
First of all, this is a trailer for both parts 1 and two of ”The big one”. It's OK, I guess they don't want to spoil the moment the story is split at, though my guess still stands up: part 1 will end when Xenophilius Lovegood tells Harry, Ron and Hermione about the Deathly Hallows. It's only a guess, but I'm 80% sure I'm right.
Before talking about the movie at hand, I'd like to adress a big fuck you to Summit Entertainment for releasing Twilight: Eclipse this summer and therefore making the Harry Potter release date set to November. I mean, what kind of a sick producer pushes his actors to such intense work? Twilight: New Moon was released back in November and... what the fuck eight months later a new movie is out? BULLSHIT! It takes at least a year to complete a movie like that! I'm telling you, Summit forced the team to work their assess hard and finish this piece of shit that fast!
Anyway, back to Harry Potter now. I hope The Deathly Hallows will be better made, since it's in two parts. I mean, The Half Blood Price was fair, but it lacked a lot of important movies. Like why the fuck aren't we shown ALL THE DAMN memories?! What about the Gaunts? No need to talk about them, just skip to little Tom Riddle at the orphanage?! That's bullshit! Sorry, but HBP is not getting a rating better than 7.5/10 from me. So let us see The Deathly Hallows! God, please make sure this movie is better than the others! I really don't want to get my shotgun and go all the way to England to shoot David Yates if it'll suck.

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Next list:

The Bucket List Movie Review
Dr Who Adventure Games (and BBC rant)

(order pending)

Prince of Persia: The forgotten sands (PC)

This is another one of Ubisoft's masterpieces, following a great series of four... no three great Prince of Persia games. Why only three? BECAUSE PRINCE OF PERSIA 2008 IS A PIECE OF SHIT AND WILL NOT BE COUNTED BY ME AS A POP GAME!
First of all, the first Prince returns in this game. Apparently this game is a prequel to Warrior Within and The Two Thrones and it's story happens right after The Sands of Time.
So far so good, I won't talk about the story too much, because that would mean spoiling it and I don't want that to happen. The plot revolves around The Price who goes to visit his brother Malik. When he gets there he finds Malik's palace invaded. Malik then decides to free King Solomon's Army, an army formed of sand creatures, to repel the invasion. Unfortunately,the army turns against Malik and now The Prince has to save his brother and the kingdom. In order to do that, he is aided by the Djinn, who gives him four powers at different points in the game. These powers are amazing, yet by the end of the game you need piano skills in order to be able to switch between the powers as fast as it's needed.
The first power is the rewind. No need to describe it. It's The Prince's good ol' time rewind, just that this time he doesn't need The Dagger of Time to do it.
The second power you gain is freezing water. Yeah, you heard me right. You can solidify water for a few secons, so you can use it to swing across a gap or something like that (I hate the waterfalls at The Last Climb!!!).
Then there's that power whose name I keep forgetting. The point is you jump and then press CTRL to charge at an enemy that is on a platform further than you could normally jump to. This gets crazy when vultures come in, but I won't get into details that much.
Last but not least you can "remember" parts of the castle that are destroyed but were there in the past. This means pressing a key to fix a broken pathway, wall or something like that. It's not a piece of cake, trust me.
The final battle is completely crazy. You're in a middle of a sandstorm and you need to fight Ratash, the leader of the Sand Army. He is ginormous and has a seal on his chest that's the only vulnerable point you can hit, while making sure he doesn't hit you with his hands or the other enemies that appear on the screen don't kill you.
You can also buy upgrades, like magic powers - whirlwind, stone armor, fire trair and water trail, or lenghten your life bar, get extra energy orbs, etc.
The soundtrack also feels like Prince of Persia. It completes the game.
So... I guess it gets a well deserved 10/10 like AC 2?
Well... NO! Because it's full of fuckin' bugs! Doors are not opening. When I climb a column so I'd be able to face the other column I need to jump to, the game crashes and I get a screen that makes no sense and that you can only escape if you waste an energy slot to rewind!
So, the final judgement (without the picture, sorry):

Graphics: 9/10
Gameplay: 8/10
Story: 9/10
Soundtrack: 9.5/10
OVERALL: 8.8
BUT! Because the beta testers are a bunch of motherfuckin' bastards, I deduce one point from the overall.
OVERALL OVERALL: 7.8/10

Call of Ctulthu (I think that's how you spell it) Mobile

Yeah, well.. I'm reviewing a mobile game for the first time in my life. Of course since it's a mobile game I should have started my review with "THIS GAME SUCKS!". But it's not the case here. This game screams "Lucas Arts" from the bottom of its lungs. And I mean the OLD ADVENTURE GAME Lucas Arts not the current LEGO BULLSHIT and INFINITE STAR WARS and INDIANA JONES THAT DOESN'T COME TO PC Lucas Arts. Yeah, the game looks just like the good ol' Lucas Arts point and click adventure games from the 1990's. And it's played like one. All it lacks are the buttons at the bottom of the screen, labeled USE TALK TO and stuff like that.
Here's a little trailer:

Overall, the game was good, I enjoyed it, yet I got stuck a lot of times and needed to take a look at a walkthrough I found online. Eventually I.. um... finished it (or not?) and I got some sort of a To Be Continued thing. Well.. here's where every good thing about this game goes to an end. Why? Because a sequel was never released even though the first game is out since 2007. WHY? I don't know, the producer's site is down for some reason.
Anyway, the game has it's good sides, like an awesome story that keeps you hooked up, great character designs (Lucas Arts!!!) but it also has bad sides, like a bug that appears at some cell phones only (including the PC emulator LOL) or maybe at some versions of the game, anyway. You need to talk to a guy at the store. And when you do that, the game crashes. It happened to me every time I tried to get over that part on my old cell. Luckily, it worked well on Alcatel OT 800 and on a good ol' Nokia, so I managed to beat the game.
Anyway, I'd give this game a 9/10. It deserves it, at least for the courage to make a cell phone point and click adventure game.

Percy Jackson and The Olympians Quick Review

Percy Jackson and The Olympians: The lightning thief is a movie based on a novel, the first one of the Percy Jackson series, written by Rick Riordan.
The first thing I noticed is the movie starts with an argument between Zeus and Poseidon (played by Kevin McKidd, aka Vorenus from ”Rome”). Zeus states that Poseidon's son stole his Lightning, the most powerful weapon that exists and that he has a 14 days deadline to return it or there will be war.
In the book there's a little suspance, since it starts describing Percy who is god damn 12 not fucking 18 like in the movie, and how weird things happen to him.
I don't blame Chris Columbus for spoiling something that could have been kept a secret for at least 15 - 20 minutes of film, but for changing the characters' ages. And why the hell did he cut out Mr. D, the camp director? He was an interesting character.
Anyway, I suppose it's not fair criticising the movie because the director had a different vision, so let's see what can we make of this movie.
As a fantasy movie it's not bad at all. As a movie, in general, it's good to watch when you don't have anything better to do. This is one of those movies you could watch with your family in a Sunday evening with the popcorn and soda/beer ready. Me, I liked this movie, despite all the negative critics it gets because of the changes Columbus made to the story. I'd gave it a 8.5/10 without exagerating. I guess the 5.8 (LOL) it got on IMDB is based on the fact I overlooked, so I guess I gave it an extra point because Alexandra Daddario is so hot!!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Game Preview: The Testament of Sherlock Holmes

Yeah, here it is. A teaser for the new Sherlock Holmes game Frogwares and Focus are going to launch in Q4 2010 (oh, man, just the end of 2010?!). Anyway, as Frogwares states on the forum which I will not link to right now because I accidentally closed the tab and I don't know the address anymore, this will be Sherlock's most dangerous investigation ever. Wow! Now I'm really anxious to find out what's it all about. Hopefully we'll see a new trailer soon, because this isn't satisfactoy. I mean, too little detail is given here.

Monday, June 21, 2010

Assassin's Creed Brotherhood E3 Gameplay!!!

A few words on Shrek Forever After

This is a kids' movie and game, therefore I won't criticise it too much. The point is, the film is your basic Shrek comedy dose. It's good to hear Mike Myers as Shrek and Eddie Murphy as Donkey again, and it's AWESOME hearing Shrek's roar!
OK, so my impressions on this film is that it's a fair movie. I saw a lot of negative rants on the internet stating that this is the worst movie in the whole series... I don't know, guys, really now, this is just a kids' movie, don't take it so seriously. It's an ordinary comedy. I just sat back and laughed.
I guess the source of these negative reviews is the fact that this movie is slightly different from the others. This time there's no Prince Charming as the archenemy and Far Far Away is not the good ol' happy kingdom everyone used to know. Besides, it only refferences Shrek 1, making it a prequel of Shrek 2 and 3, but wait! There are Shrek babies, so it can't be a prequel!!! AGGGHHH!! I don't get it anymore! This movie simply states that Rumpelstilskin wanted to make a deal with the queen and king of Far Far Away to save Fiona from her curse (the curse plot ended along with the first movie) in return for Far Far Away. They're about to sing the contract, when a soldier comes and tells them Fiona has already been rescued.
OK, this movie's story goes like this: Shrek misses the times when he was a scary ogre living in his good ol' swamp and scaring people the whole day. Everything culminates at his babies' birthday, when he breaks down. Rumpelstilskin hears that and proposes a contract to him. Therefore, Shrek, without knowing, gives the day he was born in on one more day as a scary ogre. The rest of the story, I'll let you find out by watching the movie.
The game is a stupid RPG beat'em up style. How characteristic for Activision. But wait! Instead of talking about the game, I'll rant about Activision's fuck-ups next time! Oh, yeah, they fucked up Marvel! Well.. not quite. Not exactly fuck-ups, just a few bad games made by them. Two games. Shrek the fourth and Spiderman Web of Shadows. Two in one. Or should I review even more? We shall see. Later. For now, The Pirate Reviewer's signing out.

Assassin's Creed II

I have few words to say about this game, as there's not that much to discuss, but to praise.
First of all, the graphics were improved and the setting changed. Now the Animus takes the player into renaissance Italy, where you control Ezio Auditore da Firenze, a young man who travels around the country to avenge his family, killed by conspirator templars. Eventually, Ezio becomes an Assassin and learns about the Pieces of Eden. His archenemy is Rodrigo Borgia, also refered to as "The Spaniard".
The enemies are, again, city guards and personal guards of the high noblemen you have to kill. This time, though, the game is not linear, as the first one was. I mean, in part one all you have to do is go to the city, investigate a bit (like informer challenges, pickpocket or interrogation) and then proceed with the killing), but here the ways you get to your targets and kill them are more elaborate. Plus, I had a hard time passing the Assassins' Tombs levels in order to obtain the six seals necessary to open the grating that guards the armor of Altair.
And now we come to Dominic, as I forgot to talk of him. This time he actually escapes from Abstergo along with Lucy, who takes him to a secret warehouse, where she and two other guys working against the templars get him to enter a home edition of the Animus and control the previous subject's ancestor, Ezio.
The gameplay is slightly modified, as you get new weapons (even a pistol, which surprisingly sucks), and you can FLY! Yeah, you can fly in renaissance Italy. That's because you're a friend of Leonardo Da Vinci and he lets you use his flying machine for a certain purpose.
The music.. well, let's just say Jesper Kyd doesn't disappont us.
What else? The story is very elaborate. I also like the finale, where Ezio... well... let's not make any spoilers and get straight to Dominic, who now has Assassin powers and defeats a bunch of Abstergo soldiers who come after him. I have one little problem here. WHY THE FUCK DID THEY ATTACK HIM WITH PIPES?! WAS IT TOO FUCKING HARD TO GIVE THOSE GUYS GUNS?! THEY'RE IN THE FUCKING 21st CENTURY! Well, the lack of guns can be explained by the fact that they were now allowed to kill Dominic, but still... a stun gun was too hard to get? That way they only got their ass kicked. Also, the Ubisoft guys did an interesting thing here. The end credits scroll while you fight the Abstergo guys so you won't get bored. Nice!
Another thing I want to add is that they finally decided to add subtitles to the game, EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE DISABLED BY DEFAULT!!
Ok, I'm done. The conclusion: this game is COOL!
Let's see the judgement!

GAMEPLAY: 9,5/10 (for the annoying action camera)
SOUNDTRACK: 10/10
GRAPHICS: 10/10
STORY: 10/10
OVERALL: 9,8/10 (or 10/10, but not perfect)

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Assassin's Creed 3 Trailer

The new Assassin's Creed game, called "Brotherhood" is due to be released sometime this November, as you will see by watching the trailer below, released yesterday at E3 2010.

Friday, June 11, 2010

EA Games Fuckups!

Once in a while, a game developing company reaches it's heights - 90% of it's game are great, enjoyable creations that people praise and honor all over the internet and beyond. But... soon after this happens, a flow of shit floods the company and they become unable to release anymore good games! Check out EA GAMES FUCKUPS below to convince yourself I am right.

A lot of old EA GAMES productions are great. I played them some time ago on an older machine and enjoyed them unlike what happens with the newer games, which I play on a better PC and therefore get better graphics and stuff. I'll try and cover a few examples of good game series turned bad below.

1. Harry Potter
The first three games were great for the time. I mean, the characters were kids, so the games were supposed to be fun and easy to play. I liked all three of the games, and I suppose they each deserve at least 8/10.
Game four was the worst in the whole series. Turning the franchise into a stupid RPG (this has become a bad habit today for a lot of game creators), the game only allowed you to do missions, fight magical creatures and bosses. A lifebar doesn't exist, your HP being measured in numbers (100 being maximum and 0 minimum). You can't explore Hogwarts, which is a major letdown. Eventually I got to the lake part which I couldn't pass, and since I didn't want to use a trainer I gave up playing the piece of shit called Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire Videogame. Also, to be noted that the game FORCES you to use 800x600 resolution. What a shitload of fuck! It's hardly worth a 5/10 thanks to the fact that it's a Harry Potter game.
Harry Potter 5 is, by far, the best of the series, because despite the overhead RPG style view that was kept, the graphics were improved, the story was better told, and you could explore Hogwarts once again. It was fun making fun (lol) of Umbridge and causing destructions and stuff. The ministry of magic part is too easy, as even a five year old won't die at the final battle, but overall this game is 9/10. Part six is another disappointment to me, because EA tampered with the designs and now the characters'eyeballs are getting out of their heads. Also, the final part isn't well developed anymore, as you don't get to walk through the cave with Dumbledore (as I imagined you would), but instead all you do is fight the Inferi from the island. Anyway, part 6 is worse than 5 but way better than 4, so it gets a 7/10 from me.

2) Need for Speed
Need for speed is a great racing series. I will start my review with Need For Speed Underground, because before that they were simply racing games without a storyline. I have no complains, the graphics are getting better and better until the new NFS's! I totally hate Need for Speed Pro Street because the races are moved into a closed circuit. I mean, it's a god damn computer game! Nobody gives a shit that you do illegal street races and cause deadly crashes! Still, the game isn't that bad and it gets an 8/10 because it's got great graphics.
Now for the worst NFS of all times! Need for Speed Undercover! Oh my god! That game is simply uncontrollable. The car controls are a joke! The graphics suck even with all the options set to maximum. The only good thing about it is an innovation. They made movie-like cutscenes. Like real pictures filmed with a real camera. Cool, right? At least it gains one point for this piece of shit. Let it be a 6/10 from me.
Need for Speed Shift once again goes into racing circuits, and as far as I've heard it has great graphics and gameplay, but I have to play it myself before I state any opinions.

3. FIFA
The FIFA series is a football simulation game. What makes it great is that EA got an official license from FIFA to make these game, therefore stoping the competition from making a better game than theirs because they can't use the original team names and players! Jeez! This is bullshit!
Anyway, I don't want to talk to the games in this series separately, as there's nothing special to say about each particular one. EA tries to bring innovations in every new game and that's how they fuck it up. For instance, in FIFA 08 some controls are changed (you switch players with Q instead of S by default). Then they add Be a Pro - a game mode in which you can play as one single player and not control the whole team. In FIFA 09 and FIFA 10 the controls were so fucked up that there were tutorials posted all over the internet, which showed how to set controls to be just like in the previous games. There's so little I have to rant about these series, so I'll just stop now.

4. The Godfather
Now we get to the real piece of shit! The Godfather series! The first game was acceptable. You start off by creating a character and dress him up, and then you do missions that cover the first movie. Driving cars, shooting guns, taking over rackets and finally becoming DON. The game earns a well deserved 8/10.
The Godfather II is the masterpiece of shit that made me write this whole EA Fuckups thing in the first place. The graphics are a joke, the car controls are a joke, it's like they make fun of players. At least the shooting is great, and therefore the multiplayer is the same. Now for the story. It seems you are already a DON, but you play as ANOTHER character, so it doesn't make sense. How did you become DON in the first place? Before it took me a whole game to reach this rank and now I simply have it?! I think it was better fighting to achieve the rank of DON than being already DON at the beginning of the game. The game is a piece of shit. You can hire guys that become your family members, take over properties and make sure they aren't conquered by enemies. So the game barely gets a 6/10.

In conclusion, EA fucked up with it's recent releases. Of course, now you'll argue with me, bringing Burnout or The Sims as good examples, but those are just a few titles. So there are good and bad sides. I only spoke about EA's bad sides here, so I guess the good ones are still to be spoken about. But not now. I have other plans next.

Assassin's Creed Review (part 1)

It's summer. School's over.. and that means more time for games! Hell yeah! So what came trough my twisted mind while I was enjoying a can of beer on my couch, watching South Africa vs Mexico in the World Cup opening match? Yeah, you're right. I decided to review another game. This time it's a series of game, so I'll divide the review in two parts. Part two should be coming later (maybe next week), as I haven't finished Assassin's Creed 2 yet. So, let's get to business.

Assassin's Creed is a third person action adventure game, developed and published by Ubisoft. The main plot involves a man, Dominic, being held by a corporation and forced to see his ancestor's memories in order to unveil a certain event that happens in the final memory. I know it sounds complicated but I really don't feel like spoiling this game and any detail I give makes it easier for you to realize what happens next. Your character is Dominic's ancestor, Altair, which you control via some device called "Animus". Altair is a high-ranked Assassin, until he fails a mission because he disobeys the Assassins' rules. This is when he is turned back into a novice and sent by Al Mualim, the master, to perform nine assassinations in order to recover his rank. The rest of the story and the conclusion you can find out by playing the game.
The gameplay is difficult for someone who doesn't play games too often and is not used to pressing a large number of buttons simultaniously. I have a problem with the controls, and it repeats itself in Assassin's Creed 2 as well. THEY USE FUCKING SYMBOLS TO TELL YOU WHAT BUTTONS TO PRESS! JEEZ! What's the point of telling me the button to press if I have to memorize each button's symbol anyway?! Another minus is that the game doesn't have subtitles, making it tough for a non-english speaker to understand the storyline. T
Second of all, aren't you supposed to stay incognito and kill your targets by using stealth? I mean... one of the three Assassin rules clearly states an Assassin has to act silent and remain anonymous. I can guarantee that at least once or twice you will get caught by guards. If this happens you'll have to fight a shitload of bastards until you can run away and become anonymous again. It's ridiculous. If for instance I attack a guard on the ground and I stay there to fight him, more and more will come! It looks as if I killed all the guards in the damn city, but then other ones appear.
I also want to criticise the Dominic parts when I'm left to wander around the lab and eventually go to bed. All I do is walk around like a fucking prisoner in his cell. At some point I read emails from laptops, and then I go to bed. That's all. There's one point in the game when the doctor stands with the back at you, looking out the window. You MUST go behind him and steal his pen at that moment. It's your only chance to be able to read his emails. I think the Dominic parts should have been taken care of much better. I mean, why can't he do what he does in the end earlier?! It could have been his task to decode... . But no! He reads fucking emails before going to bed! Isn't there any privacy in this game?! I guess not.
I was talking about the controls a bit earlier. I'm kinda angry they didn't let the Prince of Persia controls. Those were better. Anyway, I got used to these ones too, so it doesn't make any difference to me right now.
The graphics are great. I ran the game maxed out, at the resolution of 1280x1024 (I don't want to go higher because this is my screen resolution and I don't think my PC will be able to handle high resolutions like 1920x1080). The fact that the game is in widescreen is great as well. Makes me think I'm watching a movie.

Graphics: 9,5/10
Soundtrack: 9/10
Gameplay: 8,5/10 (for the lack of subtitles)
Story: 9,5/10
OVERALL: 9,12/10

Friday, May 21, 2010

A few words on Alice in Wonderland

I don't have time for a full, professional review right now, so I'll limit my speech on Alice in Wonderland (2010) to a few words.
First of all, calling this film "Alice in Wonderland" is completely wrong. The more suitable title would have been "Alice in Underland". Even the characters welcome Alice in Underland, not Wonderland.
Seriously now, how many Tim Burton films have you seen recently?! I can say a few words about this director:
1) Johnny Depp is in EVERY ONE of his movies.
2) All his movies have a dark and bloody theme, so it was a big surprise to me when I found out he was going to do an Alice in Wonderland remake.
3) Despite all that, he is a fuckin' genius! Tim Burton rocks!
Now, back to Alice in Wonderland. I think the actors do a great job. Johnny Depp fits perfectly as the Mad Hatter, and Helena Bonham Carter was a great big-headed queen, despite her desire too cut people's heads off. The choice for the main character, Mia Wasikowska as Alice, is also well inspired. I had my doubts when I first heard the blue caterpillar talk, but a second later I was sure I recognized Alan Rickman's voice. Yeah, even Stephen Fry does voice acting in this movie (he provides the teleporting cat's voice).
The story is easy to follow. Alice is now 19 and her family forces to marry some rich lord. At her wedding, right before having to say yes, she sees the good ol' white rabbit again and follows it. She yet again falls in the rabbit hole and finds herself in Underland. She can eat a special cake to become bigger and drink some potion to become smaller (maybe it's vice-versa, I don't know, I'm confused too). At first, the rabbit thinks he brought back the wrong Alice, but then she is proved to be the right one. There's a prediction Alice will slay a dragon (can't remember it's name right now), and thus defeat the Red Queen once and for all. The rest of the story you'll have to find out by yourself, as I'm really in a hurry right now and I have to end this prematurely. I won't even add a final judgement. I'll just say that I'd give this movie an 8,5/10.

GTA IV Review

Grand Theft Auto IV (or 4) continues the series of action games created by Rockstar Games back in the late 90's and continued until the present. This is probably the original sequel to GTA III, as the other PC ones, Vice City and San Andreas are just like an expansion, like, using the same engine, but adding better graphics, and they only complete the story of GTA 3 and therefore are not called GTA 4 and 5, but in fact they're named after the cities the action happens into.
In GTA IV, you play as Niko Bellic, a russian imigrant who came in America for an apparent reason (his cousin's description of the country) and for a hidden reason that I'm not going to reveal right now.
The game installs along with Windows Live, for multiplayer gaming, and Rockstar Games Social Club, which probably has the same purpose. I don't know exactly, I wasn't interested in trying it out. Besides I couldn't try the multiplayer even if I wanted to, because I got my game from torrents and if you don't have the original game you can't use the multiplayer feature.
When you start the game, you can either begin playing with the graphics settings the game automatically selects depending on your computer's capabilities, or you can go to Options and then the Graphics tab and modify them as your like.
The graphics are good and live up to people's expectations. The characters are well designed and their personality is reflected by their looks, in the first place, and then by their actions.
The controls in this game are great. I could say they're way better than in the previous games. Despite that, the helicopter controls suck. I prefer the San Andreas ones over these ones. I just can't do anything with a helicopter because as soon as I take off, I crash. That's why the final mission was impossible for me to complete. And that's a big surprise, as all the other missions are easy to accomplish without any cheats. The shooting is better than in it's predecessors. I am glad they now let you hide behind items\walls, to cover during a gunfight. That way my character doesn't take that much damage from enemies' bullets. The weapon selection sucks because there's no Minigun (my favorite gun in GTA!) and a lot of other guns I used to have in previous GTA's are gone (OK, there are new weapons in Episodes from Liberty City, but that's another story). Also, I'm disappointed in the clothes selection. There aren't enough clothes to choose from, and the existing selection is not very satisfying, at least not to me.
The story is great, the characters' lines are well made-up and the jokes... well, let's just say I laughed out loud every time Niko made an ironical comment. The only thing different from the other GTA's is the finale. Usually, the main character becomes rich and powerful, and kills all his enemies, but in this one the ending is a bit different. Since I hate spoilers, I won't do one here.
The things I liked most in this game, even though I never took advantage of them are: being able to make friends and go out with them, to eat or to play darts or pool or bowling, to make girlfriends and date them (even though I only went 100% with the first one), and to ride in cabs wherever you want. I only took a cab when, for instance, I couldn't get past a mission and I failed it a lot of times, and I didn't want to go all the way back to where the mission starts.
I also need to specify this game makes you choose who to kill at some point. I recommend looking up this info on the internet before shooting. When you get to choose between A or B, you need to find out which one gives what advantages and make your decision based on that. In the final part of the game, you get to choose whether to make a deal with one of your enemies or go to his location and kill him. Either way, the ending you get will not be the one you expect.
Overall, GTA IV is a great game and I enjoyed playing it. Now I thought I should give Episodes from Liberty City a shot. That one is a game that somehow fills some blanks left by the original GTA IV. It consists of two games, "The Lost and Damned" and "The Ballad of Gay Tony". You can get it from Steam as a digital download, or from torrents, as I did.

Graphics: 9,5/10
Soundtrack: 9/10 (for radio tracks and a great main theme)
Gameplay: 9,5/10
Story: 10/10
Overall: 9,5/10

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Game Previews

1. Lara Croft And The Guardian Of Light
Gameplay trailer:

Well, I've seen the gameplay trailer above myself and I'm left with only a few words about this game: THEY FUCKED UP! How can you turn Tomb Raider into a fucking RPG?! HOW?! I'm so pissed I could go over to Crystal Dynamics and shoot every last bastard working there! There was one game series I liked and they FUCKED IT UP! First Ubisoft fucked up Prince of Persia with that stupid joke of a game that wasn't even titled, released back in '08, and now Eidos fucks up Tomb Raider! How very convenient is that?!
By the way, guess who brings us the next Tomb Raider game on PC! Aw, yes, I just noticed, the game is not called Tomb Raider anymore! Just Lara Croft and The Guardian of Light! That's great! It means the producers know this is going to be an epic fail and don't want Tomb Raider to be connected with it.
2. Prince of Persia: The Forgotten Sands
Ubisoft preview with commentaries:

Well, it's a good thing Ubisoft realized they fucked up and now they try to make up with the fans by releasing another Prince of Persia, called The Forgotten Sands. As far as I could see, the game is promising, except for the Prince's face. I'm sorry, but to me, Prince of Persia ended with The Two Thrones. The pile of shit that is Prince of Persia 4 (2008) helped me to draw this conclusion. Anyway, we're a few days away from the release date, so... the waiting is killing you, right?

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